Judgment Detox: Stop judging. Now!
Judgment detox, what it is, and how to master it – We walk through the world and judge everything we see: the weather is bad, the neighbor’s pants are too tight, and the exhausting job about the happiness and freedom of simply not having an opinion – just being there.
Why are judgments problematic?
Every human being produces around 50,000 thoughts every day. Most of them are uninvited guests – we think of them unconsciously, uncontrolled, automatically. Of these, there are many judgments and evaluations: the meeting is boring, the voice is soothing, the picture is touching…
That has disadvantages. This is how we mentally repeat the same pattern over and over again: what we found unpleasant yesterday, we usually rate as unpleasant again today. If evaluations pop up in your brain without being asked, you skip an essential process – that of perception.
Of unbiased, open-ended, adjective- and adverb-free perception.
But this value-free perception makes up a large part of our quality of life, our vitality. Please think of the joy and curiosity children engage in all aspects of their lives.
When it rains, children experience the rain because they engage with it, experience it, play with it – while we get angry at the rain, run away from it, protect ourselves from it. Just as we adults often run away from life, protecting ourselves from it.
Why do we judge at all?
We don’t do this because we’re stupid. Rather, we try to protect ourselves with our judgments because many experiences in our lives have been painful for us, difficult to bear, and confusing.
We have created a safe corner of prejudice where we can make undisturbed circles in the same circles. In which we are confronted with a few new things as possible and can therefore stick to our old beliefs and do not have to change our behavior.
And if something really touches us emotionally in our corner, then we put it in one of the prepared drawers – and everything goes back to normal. That gives us a feeling of security.
What are the consequences of the long-term assessment?
But it also means that we live in a prison that separates us from others. Because every person we come into contact with intuitively notices immediately whether we meet them openly and without prejudice – or whether we have already pigeonholed them.
And we won’t be able to experience every situation we get into if we already know at first glance how we find it – either because we don’t stay in the situation at all or because we don’t let it get to us but stand by as stiff observers.
And if we judge and condemn ourselves all day long (which is very popular), then we have no chance to develop, grow, and it will be difficult for us to feel free and alive – after all, we tell ourselves thousands of times a day.
Judgment Detox: What Happens When You Stop Judging?
When we stop hiding behind separating judgments and start to see everything – with loving instead of judgmental eyes – and accept it, we open ourselves to life in all its facets.
This new openness brings movement into our feelings, thoughts, and relationships. We can analyze situations in which we would otherwise have acted in rigid, old patterns due to automatic evaluations and freely decide how we want to behave and thus free ourselves from stuck situations and relationships.
In short: When you stop judging, evaluating, and comparing, you feel lighter, freer, more loving, more open, more trusting, and more alive.
But how do I stop judging?
First of all, you don’t need to judge Buddha. Judgments are part of life. They simplify decisions in our complex, modern living environments and help us to orientate ourselves – for example, whether a situation on a deserted street at night is dangerous or not.
However, we can consciously reduce those judgments that limit us and separate us from our fellow human beings. There is the term “Judgement Detox ” in America for this – i.e. evaluation detoxification. We detoxify our lives by stopping judging.
Judgment Detox in three steps
1. Meditation: Learn to control the flow of thoughts
Meditation is a gift in many ways and has many impressive effects. And especially with circling and compulsive thoughts, it is the drug of choice.
Anyone who meditates regularly learns to observe their thoughts and let them go or even take a total break from thought simply.
This then has a positive effect on the rest of your life: the carousel of thoughts no longer spins quite as quickly, individual thoughts become more conscious and easier to influence.
Automatic judgments, comparisons, and evaluations are thus transformed from irrepressible monsters into controllable opponents.
2. Mindfulness: Become aware that you are judging
It doesn’t matter if you consider yourself to be a fairly unbiased person or if you’re worried because you’re constantly judging yourself and others – first do the following experiment: Set a fixed period of time, about an hour, and have a small piece of paper and a pen ready.
You draw a line on your paper every time you realize that you’re judging, comparing, and evaluating someone or something. You’ll be surprised how seldom you can put your pen down!
Then commit to observing as mindfully as you can for 40 days as you make judgments. It is best to keep a small judgment diary in which you record the judgments you remember and the consequences of your feelings and actions.
After 40 days, you will have changed your brain structures in such a way that you will continue to deal with judgments much more consciously in the future.
3. Positive Thoughts: Antidote for Judgments
Write down a list of positive thoughts that you want to use to replace damaging and limiting judgments. Instead of “I hate rain/storm/black ice!” B. “Today is perfect weather to make yourself comfortable at home .” Instead of “Housework is so exhausting!”
For example, “I look forward to when my apartment shines in new splendor.” And instead of “Singing mantras/line dancing /I just don’t like hiking!” you say, “I’ll try something different today. I’m curious how it will turn out.”
You can carry the list with you, hang it up somewhere, or put it under your pillow – and whenever you judge, use an appropriate positive thought.
Judgment Detox – Conclusion:
Anyone who manages to perceive the world as it is – without their own (pre)judgments, evaluations, and comparisons – opens up to life per se, connects in love and trust with all beings, with all the beauty that hides in our world. It’s liberating, confusing, intense – just alive.
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